It has been a long time. I have eaten since we last spoke, but I haven't feasted much. I was starting to become scared Ben and I had forgotten. For all the candles and all the wine, neither loosened enough of the oh-my-God-how-are-we-ever-going-to-survive fears of failure, fears of unknown, fears that we have been drawn into a future that is going to be more work and more amazing than we imagined. It's terrifying. There have been times it was all we could do to hold each other's hands, knowing we each needed to journey along the road alone. There have been times we wanted so desperately to connect that we fought because it was the closest thing to a good conversation we could muster.
But we are feeling brave. There comes a point that fear ceases to have any power precisely because it has so much. For us, its domination led to our determination to subvert it. Armed with trout, wine, beeswax taper candles, and a couple of new friends, we have decided to practice the feast until we remember it. We will keep lighting candles, and we will keep drinking wine. Soon we'll break though. On that day, we'll be ready, and we will laugh our heads off, tears streaming, stomach aching. Then we'll know we're home.
Grilled Trout:
- 1 trout per person
- Parsley
- Lemons
- Olive Oil
- Salt and Pepper
Leave the trout whole: heads, tails, eyeballs, etc. If your guests are squeamish about heads, they come off rather easily after they have been grilled (grab a paper towel, take the head, and pull it off. It sounds completely grotesque... I once worked in a restaurant where a waitress, in her frustration that Americans do not want to acknowledge that the thing they are eating was once living and that somehow the head is representative of all this, grabbed a napkin and, at the table, pulled the fish's head off. I had to go back into the kitchen to giggle to myself and regain my composure). Fish have heads. We eat fish. Plus, the cheeks (right under the eyeballs) are the best part of the fish!
Okay... enough about fish heads. Fire up your grill 40-60 minutes before you want to cook them; the charcoal should all be white. While the fish are still raw, salt and pepper the outsides and the insides. Put inside of each fish several sprigs of parsley and slices of lemon. If you want, you can get some butcher twine and sew up the seams of the fish to keep all of the stuff on the inside. I know a woman (not naming any names) who uses her tapestry needles for knitting to do such a task... I remember (I mean, she remembers) to wash off the needles before returning them to the knitting bin - most of the time. Grill the fish for 5-10 minutes per side (this varies greatly, given the heat of your grill). The fish should be done but not dry. The "touch" test also works well: if, when you push your finger down on the fish and it feels firm to the touch, it is finished. This is also how we test lamb. Why not use a thermometer? As great as thermometers are for such tasks, I do not always have one on me and do not always have time to remember to go get fifteen million things when I am drinking a gin and tonic and grilling. I'd rather just enjoy the gin and tonic and impress my guests by touching the fish and proclaiming it done.
After the fish are done, or, if you split up the tasks, when the fish have been flipped, you can make:
Seared Green Beans with Parmesan, Chilis, and Garlic
- Olive oil
- 2 cloves garlic
- 1 dried chili, crushed
- 1/8c parmesan cheese, grated with a microplane
- 1 lb green beans
Heat the olive oil until it is thin in the bottom of the pan; this occurs just before it starts to smoke. It will be hot. Don't get scared. You might burn yourself. You will get over it and, with time, will learn how to not burn yourself. For the time being, muster your bravest self and deal with the consequences later. It's tough to burn yourself really badly doing this, though oil burns do suck. If you get one, rinse immediately in cold water or, if you're really into cooking, just grab an ice cube out of the freezer and hold it in your hand while you finish cooking. Plate the food and put aloe on the burn. This way, dinner still gets made and you take care of the burn. Anyway, the olive oil is now hot and almost smoking. Throw the garlic and the chili in the pan, swoosh it in a circle, and add the green beans. Leave the green beans for 2-3 minutes or until one side of them has started to blister and turn brown. This is carmelizing the sugars in the beans, which makes them delicious.
After you plate the beans, sprinkle parmesan on top.
Lemon Curd Tartlets for Dessert!!!
I love lemon curd. It is lemony, puddingy, and remarkably satisfying. I make it a lot and there are probably at least three other entries of it on this blog.
Lemon Curd Tartlet
Pie Crust
- 1stick butter
- 1 1/2c flour
- Water
- 1t salt
Cut the butter into small pieces and mix with the flour and salt, squishing it between your fingers until the mixture is uniform and there are no big butter chunks. Add water, stirring with your hands (this is messy!) until the dough feels like play-doh. Roll out fairly thinly and cut to the size of your tart pan. I'm making mini-tarts, but you can make any size you like. Bake at 350 until just before it starts to brown (check it after 10 minutes or when you can smell it).
Lemon Curd (from The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters)
- 4 Lemons
- 2 eggs
- 3 egg yolks
- 2T milk
- 1/3c sugar
- 1/4t salt
- 6T butter (3/4 stick)
Grate the zest of one of hte lemons on a microplane; juice the lemons (there should be around 1/2c). Beat the eggs, yolks, milk, sugar, and salt until just mized. Stirr in the lemon juice and zest and add the butter. Cook in a heavy-bottomed pan (non-aluminum) over medium heat until it coats a spoon (it will be pretty thick and will seem to happen all at once; you'll notice a difference!). If you accidentally curdle it (i.e. it starts to look like scrambled eggs), immediately strain it through a mesh strainer and it is good as new.
Pour the custard into the tart pan(s) and bake at 350 until set... this should take 10-20 minutes, depending on its size.
Voila! Feast! Pictures are coming!
But we are feeling brave. There comes a point that fear ceases to have any power precisely because it has so much. For us, its domination led to our determination to subvert it. Armed with trout, wine, beeswax taper candles, and a couple of new friends, we have decided to practice the feast until we remember it. We will keep lighting candles, and we will keep drinking wine. Soon we'll break though. On that day, we'll be ready, and we will laugh our heads off, tears streaming, stomach aching. Then we'll know we're home.
Grilled Trout:
- 1 trout per person
- Parsley
- Lemons
- Olive Oil
- Salt and Pepper
Leave the trout whole: heads, tails, eyeballs, etc. If your guests are squeamish about heads, they come off rather easily after they have been grilled (grab a paper towel, take the head, and pull it off. It sounds completely grotesque... I once worked in a restaurant where a waitress, in her frustration that Americans do not want to acknowledge that the thing they are eating was once living and that somehow the head is representative of all this, grabbed a napkin and, at the table, pulled the fish's head off. I had to go back into the kitchen to giggle to myself and regain my composure). Fish have heads. We eat fish. Plus, the cheeks (right under the eyeballs) are the best part of the fish!
Okay... enough about fish heads. Fire up your grill 40-60 minutes before you want to cook them; the charcoal should all be white. While the fish are still raw, salt and pepper the outsides and the insides. Put inside of each fish several sprigs of parsley and slices of lemon. If you want, you can get some butcher twine and sew up the seams of the fish to keep all of the stuff on the inside. I know a woman (not naming any names) who uses her tapestry needles for knitting to do such a task... I remember (I mean, she remembers) to wash off the needles before returning them to the knitting bin - most of the time. Grill the fish for 5-10 minutes per side (this varies greatly, given the heat of your grill). The fish should be done but not dry. The "touch" test also works well: if, when you push your finger down on the fish and it feels firm to the touch, it is finished. This is also how we test lamb. Why not use a thermometer? As great as thermometers are for such tasks, I do not always have one on me and do not always have time to remember to go get fifteen million things when I am drinking a gin and tonic and grilling. I'd rather just enjoy the gin and tonic and impress my guests by touching the fish and proclaiming it done.
After the fish are done, or, if you split up the tasks, when the fish have been flipped, you can make:
Seared Green Beans with Parmesan, Chilis, and Garlic
- Olive oil
- 2 cloves garlic
- 1 dried chili, crushed
- 1/8c parmesan cheese, grated with a microplane
- 1 lb green beans
Heat the olive oil until it is thin in the bottom of the pan; this occurs just before it starts to smoke. It will be hot. Don't get scared. You might burn yourself. You will get over it and, with time, will learn how to not burn yourself. For the time being, muster your bravest self and deal with the consequences later. It's tough to burn yourself really badly doing this, though oil burns do suck. If you get one, rinse immediately in cold water or, if you're really into cooking, just grab an ice cube out of the freezer and hold it in your hand while you finish cooking. Plate the food and put aloe on the burn. This way, dinner still gets made and you take care of the burn. Anyway, the olive oil is now hot and almost smoking. Throw the garlic and the chili in the pan, swoosh it in a circle, and add the green beans. Leave the green beans for 2-3 minutes or until one side of them has started to blister and turn brown. This is carmelizing the sugars in the beans, which makes them delicious.
After you plate the beans, sprinkle parmesan on top.
Lemon Curd Tartlets for Dessert!!!
I love lemon curd. It is lemony, puddingy, and remarkably satisfying. I make it a lot and there are probably at least three other entries of it on this blog.
Lemon Curd Tartlet
Pie Crust
- 1stick butter
- 1 1/2c flour
- Water
- 1t salt
Cut the butter into small pieces and mix with the flour and salt, squishing it between your fingers until the mixture is uniform and there are no big butter chunks. Add water, stirring with your hands (this is messy!) until the dough feels like play-doh. Roll out fairly thinly and cut to the size of your tart pan. I'm making mini-tarts, but you can make any size you like. Bake at 350 until just before it starts to brown (check it after 10 minutes or when you can smell it).
Lemon Curd (from The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters)
- 4 Lemons
- 2 eggs
- 3 egg yolks
- 2T milk
- 1/3c sugar
- 1/4t salt
- 6T butter (3/4 stick)
Grate the zest of one of hte lemons on a microplane; juice the lemons (there should be around 1/2c). Beat the eggs, yolks, milk, sugar, and salt until just mized. Stirr in the lemon juice and zest and add the butter. Cook in a heavy-bottomed pan (non-aluminum) over medium heat until it coats a spoon (it will be pretty thick and will seem to happen all at once; you'll notice a difference!). If you accidentally curdle it (i.e. it starts to look like scrambled eggs), immediately strain it through a mesh strainer and it is good as new.
Pour the custard into the tart pan(s) and bake at 350 until set... this should take 10-20 minutes, depending on its size.
Voila! Feast! Pictures are coming!
