Swedish Frikadeller. Don't Judge. Or Do. Whatever.

Hi.  It's been a while.  We moved back to the Twin Cities from internship.  We were homeless for two weeks, traipsing to friends' houses, trying to not out-warm our welcome.  The car broke down.  School started.  I couldn't remember how to be a student.  Which made applying to PhD programs really nerve-wracking.  So I almost broke down.  Almost.

But I'm BAAACK!  And I'm cooking again for the fun of it.  Sometimes, it is the muscle memory of the feast that keeps us going until our next meal.  There is nothing that duplicates the first time you forget yourself and let the candles burn down... or at least when it feels like the first time... again.

And it's fall, leaning winter, and it is one of my favorite times of year.  It's great for wool sweaters, knitting, reading, writing, and studying, which is all to say it is the time of year for which I was born.  SNOW IS COMING!

Now, for dinner.

Swedish meatballs... a la Ben and Mandy.  They're typically poached pork and beef meatballs, but we don't like the texture of poached meatballs (seriously... little rubbery balls of something that was once meat... ew.  Hardcore Swedes would tell me that means I'm overcooking them, but I think you actually have to be Swedish to pull these off).  For the food nerds out there, we're having something between Swedish meatballs and their Danish cousin frikadeller.  We're sauteeing the meatballs for texture, and we're having sour cream cardamom sauce from Swedish meatballs because it's delicious.

"Swedish Frikadeller" made by a German/Dutch woman and an English/French man.  It's complicated.

1/2lb pork
1/2lb beef
1/4 onion, diced and sautteed a little.
1 clove garlic, crushed and chopped, sauteed with the onion.
1 egg
1/2c. breadcrumbs
1T milk
nutmeg
cardamom
salt
pepper

Put the pork and beef in a bowl.  Add the egg.  Pour the milk over the breadcrumbs and dump that in too.  Grate some fresh nutmeg (really, don't buy the ground stuff; it will keep forever in its little nutty shell and you can use it later for homemade eggnog; the recipe for that will come closer to Christmas), grind some cardamom with your new mortar and pestle (if you haven't bought one yet, go tell your grandma or Aunt Edna that you want one; they will be so excited you know what a mortar and pestle is, they will probably buy you one) and put that in too.  Add salt and pepper.  Mix.  With your hands.  Ben seriously started mixing it with a fork tonight but caught himself before I could deride him.  God gave us fabulous hands for getting messy and wonderful water for washing them.  Use your hands.  If you can't bring yourself to touch the stuff, find the nearest toddler or 4-year old, wash their hands (seriously, they have the idea: they use them for EVERYTHING, so wash them first before having them squish the mixture together).

Fry in a pan of hot olive oil.  After the outsides are browned, put it in the oven (at 350 or so) for 15 minutes to finish cooking.

For the sauce:
1/4-1/2c. sour cream
Enough stock to make the sour cream sauce-y
Ben put in some heavy cream because it's delicious.
Salt
Pepper
More cardamom (!)

Mix in a pan, heating slowly.  Taste.  Reduce over medium heat until it's the texture of gravy.

With this, we are having mashed potatoes, kale, and lingonberry preserves, which taste a little like cranberry sauce, but they're much smaller and therefore much better (you can find them at Scandinavian stores, including Ikea, and lots of online purveyors).

For Dessert:
Tarte Tatin.  It's French for apple pie (kind of... but not precisely... but it's so delicious all it should ever really translate to is "mmmmm").

Preheat your oven to 375.

I made a mini one tonight, so here's tarte tatin for two (adapted from From the Garden to the Table by Monty Don) double this for a 9-inch sautee pan:
1/3c APF (all-purpose flour)
2 T butter
1T sugar
1 egg yolk
1/4t salt
1-2T water

Put all of the ingredients except the water into the food processor (a good one is kind of spendy... Cuisinart makes one for around $100, but it paid itself off within the first three months with how much we used it).  After the mixture looks kind of uniform (i.e. you don't hear the food processor chunking along), add the water slowly, just until the mixture starts to all stick together and make a ball in the processor.  Wrap the ball in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge.

For the filling:
5 apples, peeled and cut into fourths - BIG chunks!
2oz (1/2 stick) butter (seriously, stop it with the butter.  You can eat salad or lentils for lunch tomorrow to balance the cholesterol).
2T sugar

Put the butter and sugar in a pan with a flat bottom (I used a 6" cast iron skillet and it worked beautifully).  When they're melted, put the apples in and toss them to coat in the butter/sugar mixture.  Cook over low-ish heat until the apples start to get tender.  Then turn up the heat until the bubbles coming up between the apple slices become dark brown.  When this happens, put a bunch of flour on a cutting board, put your dough ball on it, and roll it out into the closest thing you can make to a circle.  I don't even try to make mine circles any more.  I'd rather spend my energy eating.

Put the circle on top of the pan, pressing the sides under the apples slightly.  You won't burn your fingers too badly; it's worth it to get a little brave (and, after the first several times, burning yourself isn't really that big of a deal.  Cold water and aloe are really great solutions to that problem).

Bake until the top is browned.  Take out of the oven, let rest for 5 min, and invert it onto a plate.  If it doesn't all come out or is ugly, don't worry.  Whipped cream is the solution to that problem.  If it's really ugly, spoon it into a bowl and act like you did it on purpose.  No one will know, and, even if they do, it's delicious enough they probably won't say anything.  If they do, you might want to start looking for new friends.

Welcome home.

My New Favorite Thing... I Have Lots of Favorites

So, dear friends, corn is in season.  I love corn on the cob: boiled, grilled, roasted... pretty much any way you can make it.  And now I have a new favorite way to eat it.  I used to eat it covered in butter, which is delicious.  Then, one night we were grilling out with a friend who happened to bring an avocado.  For whatever reason, I thought, "Hey, let's make avocado butter and put it on our corn!"  So...

put 1 avocado and 1/2 stick butter (get over it - it's just butter... give up fast food and you'll never have to worry about how much butter you eat ever again, even if you only go twice a month) into a food processor.  Add a bit of salt.  Mix until it is super creamy.  Throw the pit back in to keep it from oxidizing if you're not going to eat for a while.  Spread it on your corn and swoon.  It's that good.

This stroke of genius made me feel amazing, which is really nice because I have begun studying for the GRE and have discovered that I still really stink at high school math.

You'll Want to Sit Down for This

I was going to take a picture... but then I got too excited and ate dessert before I remembered to do it.

I can't remember what we ate last weekend for feast meal.  Oh yeah, some sort of pork something or other.  It was fine.

Dessert, on the other hand, is going to be a favorite of mine for a while:

Basil Panna Cotta with Blackberry Gelee

...do not be intimidated by the name!  Or the recipe!  Make this and eat it.  You'll be happy you did.  Panna cotta is simply custard that is thickened with gelatin instead of eggs, flour, cornstarch, tapioca, or any of the other million things used as thickening agents.

2c. heavy whipping cream (for the love, if you're worried about dieting or calories, cut out doritos or fast food for a week).
1/4c. basil leaves, chopped
1/3c. sugar
1 pkg, or 1T, gelatin (made by the Knox company... you can find it at most grocery stores near the jello).
3T water

Heat 1c. of the cream (I always forget and heat both cups together) with the basil and sugar in a saucepan over medium heat.

Put the water in a small bowl and pour the gelatin over it.  Set aside for a minute.

Once the cream has started to steam from the top (not boil... but if it does, the world won't end even though - it's true - it can change the structure of the cream, though for this recipe the gelatin stabilizes it), turn it off, put the lid on the saucepan, and steep for 10-15 minutes until it smells delicious and basil-y.

Add the gelatin mixture to the cream/basil/sugar mixture.  Stir in the remaining 1c of cream.  Pour into glass bowls (or mason jars or ramekins) and put in the refrigerator.

...once you have done that, time for the gelee.  Again, gelee sounds more fancy than it is: it is basically a mixture of gelatin, sugar, and fruit.

1/4c sugar
1/2c blackberries
2T water
2t gelatin
2T water

First crush the blackberries with your newly-purchased mortar and pestle (seriously, haven't you gotten one yet?).  Put in a saucepan with the sugar and water.

Put the second 2T water in a small bowl and pour the gelatin over top.

Once the blackberry/sugar mixture is steaming, buzz them around in your food processor until uniform. Add the gelatin.

By this time, the panna cotta should have begun to set in the fridge.  Carefully (very carefully) pour the blackberry gelee over the top of the basil panna cotta.  If it looks like it's mixing in, STOP, it's not ready yet.  Leave the blackberry gelee on the countertop until the panna cotta has begun to set.  When it can stand having something on top of it, pour the gelee over top.  Allow to set for at least 2 hours.

YUM!

... for this week, our dear dear dear friend Julia will be visiting.  I think Ben is making some sort of south-of-the-border flank steak... I haven't begun thinking of what I want to have for dessert yet.  Maybe this (again)!

Creme Fraiche - I was so excited I couldn't stay on track.

Yes, dear friends, it is feast or famine with these blog posts.  BUT I JUST MADE CREME FRAICHE AND IT'S CHANGING MY WORLD... one creamy spoonful at a time.

To make, get a pint-sized mason (or ball... whatever) jar.  If you don't have any, go buy a LOT of them.  They are useful for making gifts, drinking out of (gin and tonics are our current beverage of choice), storing things, making pickles, etc.

When Ben and I first started canning, we asked family members for jars they weren't using, and I think we have somewhere around 100 jars, ranging in size from 4oz to 1G (64oz).  Whoa... that was a big distraction from my main point, which is: CREME FRAICHE.

To make it, get a pint-sized mason jar (oh yeah, now I'm back on track).
Mix equal parts heavy whipping cream and sour cream (buying these two individually is usually cheaper than buying creme fraiche at the store).  Since there are only two of us, I did 1/4c of each.

Shake in the jar to mix.  Put the lid on and leave on the counter overnight.  It will turn into an incredibly smooth, delicious treat that is slightly sweet and slightly tangy and dairy-delicious.  Refridgerate after it's overnight adventure on the countertop.

It is about the consistency of... marshmallow creme, but Ben will eat this willingly, and he looks down his nose at me every winter when I come home all excited because I finally broke down and bought a jar of that stuff to put on my hot chocolate (but, let's be honest, I mostly eat it out of the container with a spoon).  Did you know that marshmallow creme, which seems really nasty, doesn't have much in it except sugar, egg whites, and xanthan gum?

Back to the task at hand (again...).

What Should I Put it On?

I would eat it on shoe leather, but that's besides the point.

This afternoon, we ate it with fresh berries as a snack.  I bought some golden raspberries and some mulberries at the farmer's market here (which is AWESOME), and arranged a layer of goldens around the bottom, followed by mulberries, and one golden in the center.

It is also a great topping for scones or biscuits, which are probably Ben's favorite breakfast food (and he doesn't really like breakfast).

My cookbook automatically opens to this page.  I love Ben THAT much.

This is from Alice Waters' The Art of Simple Food 
1 1/2c. APF (all purpose flour)
1/4t salt
4t sugar
2t baking powder
6T (3/4 stick) cold butter, cut into small pieces
3/4HWC (heavy whipping cream - the reason I wake up most mornings)

Set your oven to 350.  Mix APF, salt, sugar, and baking powder.  Add the butter and mix with your fingers (get your hands in there, and squeeze the butter pieces flat as you mix the flour into them) until the mixture is uniform.  For the love of all things happy and holy, DO NOT use a pastry cutter.  This is why God gave you hands, friends.

(for your reading pleasure, I have put my soapboxes in italics so you can either get to cooking or be entertained, or both, more easily) Most pastry cutters live in kitchen graveyard drawers and, when they're needed, it goes like this: "Honey, have you seen the pastry cutter?"  "The what?"  "Oh... must not have one... better go buy a new one..." until the unsuspecting couple has eighteen pastry cutters and can't figure out where to find their measuring cups.  Tirade: done.  Use your hands.  

I will consent to let you pick up a wooden spoon for the next part: add the heavy cream into the flour/butter mixture.  Stir it around until it gets really hard to stir.  Flip the whole bowl upside down on the counter and smoosh it together with your fingers, kneading if you must to get the dough to come together.  It might be a little lumpy and have jaggedy edges.  Let it be.  The more you work this dough, the less light it is when you bake it.

Cut the biscuits.  I cut mine into squares because it is less messing with the dough.  Circles are fine, but the more you touch the dough, again, the less light it will be after baking.

Bake for 15-17 minutes or until the tops are lightly browned.

Ben eats these WITH BUTTER ON TOP.  It is absolutely appalling.  There is already 3/4 stick of butter in here!  As the one who typically gravitates towards fats and sugars in the relationship, I can't believe this man puts butter on - of all things - buttery biscuits.  Have I mentioned we have trouble finding pants small enough to fit him?  So perhaps this isn't so much appalling as it is amazing.  Okay, okay, yes, I am totally a hypocrite: I was advocating for you putting creme fraiche on these.  And I still do.  Before you do the Ben-Butter method, do try these with creme fraiche.  You won't be sad or sorry. I'm not either.

Ultimate Summer Dinner

This is what I'm hoping we eat for my birthday dinner (next week Tuesday I will be the big 30, and I'm totally excited for my 4th decade on earth!), but Ben is not telling me ANY of his plans for that day.  I have been working on him for several days now... and there is a bag in the bottom of the fridge that says, "No touchy, no looky (it's that time of year)."  Ben is mean, but in a good way.  He is impervious to my questions and whining.  "But what if it rots?"  "Then you can look inside before you throw it away."

Anyway, to our summer dinner:
1 loaf baugette bread (always squeeze your baugette gently in the store before you buy it... it should feel a little crunchy and firm to touch).
2 whole trout, heads on (be brave - you can do it!)
1lb green beans or asparagus

This is a salmon, not a trout, with asparagus...
Ben's parents were visiting, so we actually had someone to take pictures.
Until we get a camera, I'm trusting in all'y'all's imaginations.
We miss our fish mongers in Minneapolis.
We're coming back; save some fish for us, y'all.

Aioli
With this, I would drink a white wine or a rose (which I did not like for the longest time, but I am warming up to them), or throw in the towel and have gin and tonics.

Aioli recipe:
1 garlic clove
1 egg yolk
1/4-1/2c olive oil

You will need a mortar and pestle for this.  You can find these at reasonable prices at most Asian grocery stores.  It should either be made of wood (more finicky, harder to keep up) or stone (easier to clean, does not absorb flavors as easily).

Smash the garlic clove with the mortar and pestle until it is pulverized.  If you're having a bad day, it's a good time to make aioli.  It tastes good and relieves stress.

Add the egg yolk to the party, smash that in and stir it around until it is lemony-colored.

Drizzle the olive oil gradually, by droplets at first, and more quickly later.  If you add it too quickly, the aioli might "break" (i.e. the fats separate).  If it breaks, DON'T THROW IT AWAY.  Leave a little bit of the aioli in the mortar, reserving what you have poured out.  Add the failed mixture gradually back into it.

Your aioli is finished when there is a balance of flavors between garlic and olive oil and when it no longer tastes "eggy".  And yes, this involves raw eggs, so if you're pregnant or have a compromised immune system, it might not be the best time to eat it.  I might have to fudge this rule when I'm pregnant  (someday) if I can get my physician to ok it.  Wine I can give up.  Aioli and hollandaise will be a stretch.

Rub the trout with olive oil, salt and pepper the outside and inside.  Grill for 4-5 minutes on each side.
Rub the bread with olive oil (are you seeing a trend?), salt and pepper it.  Grill until browned on each side. (For timing purposes, have it ready when you put the fish on and start it after you have flipped the fish.)
Toss the beans or asparagus with olive oil, salt, and pepper.  Grill until browned on each side.  (For timing purposes, start these at the same time you start the bread.)

This is a beautiful dish that doesn't require cooking inside (a shout out to all of you in the Midwest who are roasting today - go find a lake, a stream, or something wet and cold to jump in, even if it's a kiddie pool full of ice - they're cheap - go buy one!).

If your guests are queasy about fish heads, they pull off easily once the fish has been cooked.  Just don't decapitate them at the dinner table.  Below the eyes and between the lips of the fish are the cheeks (where you'd expect them to be), and they are delicious.

Lemon Curd for Dessert!  This is from Alice Watters' The Art of Simple Food
4 lemons
zest from 1 lemon
2 eggs
3 egg yolks
2 T milk
1/3c. sugar
1/4t salt (unless you use salted butter)
6T butter, cut into small pieces

1) Zest one of the lemons.  Set zest aside.
2) Juice all of the lemons (it should be 1/2c... do NOT cheat and use store-bought lemon juice for this.)
3) Beat together eggs, yolks, milk, sugar, and salt.
4) Stir in the lemon juice and zest.
5) Add the butter.
6) Cook in a non-aluminum pan, stirring constantly over medium heat until it is thick enough to coat a spoon (and doesn't all run off).  It will seem like it will never happen.  Don't lose focus.  It happens quickly.  Do not let it boil, or you will have scrambled eggs.  If it starts to look a little chunky, remove from heat and whisk it vigorously.  If it looks a lot chunky, run it through a wire strainer.  Pour into a bowl or glass jars (the 8oz wide mouthed mason jars are beautiful with this!) and cool in the refrigerator.

To make this amazing dessert even more life changing, whip some heavy whipping cream with a little vanilla and sugar (i.e. make whipped cream) until it forms soft peaks (i.e. when you pull the whisk out of the cream the top of the peak folds over), and fold this into the lemon curd once it has cooled.  To fold in the eggs, I am a big fan of "lightening" the curd.  To do this, stir in a bit of the whipped cream.  Then, add the lemon curd and whipped cream, and using a vertical (as opposed to horizontal) circular motion, gently move the ingredients in circles until it is basically uniform.  The goal with "folding" is to not allow the whipped cream (or egg whites or whatever) lose any of the air that has been whipped into it.  It takes a bit of practice, but you can do it!

Eat and enjoy.  Say a prayer that whatever is in the bottom of my fridge is not something delicious that is rotting as I type.  Say a prayer for Ben, who has an endless amount of questions regarding my birthday coming at him (from me).

Dutch Mess... You're Going to have to Trust Me.

This is a summer favorite for my family... I don't know if it's Dutch, but it does look like a mess.  Ben is allowed to be part of the family - he loves it too.

1lb bacon, cut into chunks
apple cider vinegar, to taste (don't be shy - I start at at least 1/4c)
1 head lettuce
1 green onion, chopped
6 potatoes, cubed and boiled
2 hard boiled eggs


1) Start the potatoes and eggs boiling (hard boiled eggs: put eggs in cold water, place on stove, wait for water to come to a boil, boil 5 min, and voila!).
2) Fry the bacon, remove the bacon from the grease and put on a paper towel.  Set aside.
3) Add apple cider vinegar to the warm bacon grease.  Place lettuce in a big bowl and pour the bacon grease and apple cider vinegar over it (TRUST ME!)
4) After the potatoes fall apart when you stick a fork in them, make mashed potatoes (add 2T butter, salt, pepper, and 1/4-1/2c. milk).
5) Slice the eggs.
6) Mix all of the ingredients.  Taste... add vinegar if you can't sense the tang of it, and salt and pepper to taste.

...and no pictures, because we still have no camera.  Boo.  Hiss.  I have my sights on a shock-proof, water-proof, and freeze-proof Nikon (for those of you who didn't know, I dropped a digital camera off our car as we were going into Yellowstone National Park last August, and I dropped our replacement camera into a stream in Kenya... at least I dropped it because I was out doing something and not simply becuase I am my clumsy self (though I'm sure that plays into it)).

Practicing the Feast

We didn't blog the last feast meal.  I don't know that I can even remember it.  Bah.

Here we go again.  Sometimes, there's nothing worse than wanting to connect and finding that you've gotten so far from that place of slowing down and really having a conversation that it takes practice.  It does take practice.  It's a lot like running, I think.  Each fall, I scheme up new ways to stay in shape over the winter.  Each winter, I give up and decide that heavy whipping cream is more important than pants that fit.  Each spring, I get all excited about running again.  I start off running way too quickly, get about 2 blocks into a 3-mile run, and walk.  I tell myself that I'll start running at the next landmark, go a couple more blocks, and walk.  It goes this way until, finally, I run the whole 3-mile route.

We start with small conversations... and they get longer and longer, and the candles shorter and shorter, and eventually, instead of gulping down the last few sips of wine, I let it sit in the glass until I'm good and ready for dinner to be done.  It is the hunger for those nights that keeps me going through all the others.  It is the nights that are full of dreaming together, of coming up with our schemes of how we're going to conquer the world, the nights of knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that - though our team is small - "Team B-R" is pretty kickass.

I haven't eaten pork chops and enjoyed it since I was a kid.  A little bit of brine, a few grilled veggies, and a balsamic cream sauce makes pork chops magical.

Oh, and I decided to make homemade butterscotch pudding.  I am not at all humble about dessert.  I love making it, I love eating it, and I'm good at it.  See: previous conversation about running.

Pork Chops
4 pork chops
water to cover
2 small handfuls of salt
3 small handfuls of sugar
1 bay leaf
5-10 peppercorns

Put the pork chops in brine about 2 hours before eating.  An hour before eating, pull from the fridge so they come up to room temp (I encourage purchasing meat from a source you trust; meat can be in the "danger zone" (between 40-140 degrees) for 4 hours, and that's the standard for food service for pork from factory farms.  30 minutes before eating, heat up the grill.  If you're using charcoal, most of the coals should be white when you put the pork on.  Right before you put the meat on the grill, dry it off with a paper towel.  This way, the grill won't work to dry off your meat before it starts to cook it.  Cook the pork for several minutes (4-7) on each side.  When you touch it, it should have very little give to it.  You'll want the meat to be medium-well, if not well-done, but not cooked to oblivion.

Sauce
1 clove garlic
3T balsamic vinegar
1/4c. heavy whipping cream
Rosemary
Salt
Pepper

Sautee the garlic in some olive oil.  When you start to smell it, pour over the balsamic vinegar.  When that is bubbling, add the cream.  Add the rosemary, salt, and pepper.  Cook, stirring constantly, until the sauce becomes dark dark brown (almost black).  If it's the color of chocolate milk, you're not done stirring yet.  It will be rich and delicious.  Put some on your finger and try it.  Just swipe your finger over the surface of the sauce; it won't burn you (and if it does, it won't burn you badly), and it will make you look hardcore.  Check the seasonings.

Grilled Vegetables
Use whatever veggies are in season.
Asparagus
Green Garlic
Green Onions

Drizzle a bit of olive oil over the vegetables, followed by salt and pepper.  Grill for 5-10 minutes or until done.

Mashed Potatoes
4 potatoes, chopped
As much butter as you dare

Boil the potatoes until they fall apart when you stick a fork in them.  Drain them and toss the drained potatoes into a mixing bowl.  Mix with as much butter as you can stand (I admire people who use almost equal parts butter and potatoes - no kidding - but I am not yet brave enough to do it), adding salt and pepper (white pepper, if you're feeling fancy) to taste.


Butterscotch Pudding (from With a Measure of Grace)
1/4c butter
3/4c packed brown sugar
1/4t salt
1/2c heavy whipping cream
1 1/2c milk
1 capful vanilla extract (NOT IMITATION - NEVER IMITATION.  I feel strongly about this.) You can also use booze... orange liqeur is interesting, as is coffee, etc.
3T cornstarch, dissolved in 3T water

Melt the butter;  add brown sugar and salt.  Cook until it starts to smell a little burnt, but not a lot burnt.  Add the heavy whipping cream.  It will spit and yell at you because the cold cream will shock the hot caramel.  Stir the caramel until there are no more sugar chunks.  Add the milk and vanilla extract.  Stir until well mixed.  Add the cornstarch and water mixture (stir it to make sure there are no chunks first), and stir until the mixture becomes thick.  Transfer into individual bowls and place plastic wrap over the surface.  Refridgerate.  Serve with whipped cream.

Relationship Insurance

This is seriously my favorite wedding picture.
It betrays our personalities so well,
awkwardness and all.  Seriously,
Any ideas on what the
caption should be?

Tomorrow, we're going all-out for feast meal in a way that we haven't in a long time.  For us this is code for: "Life has been rough lately and we need to slow down and connect over dinner and take conscious time."  This is code for: "We haven't talked about our hopes, dreams, or big ideas in a long time."  This is code for: "What has been occupying your head since the last time I listened to you?"  This is code for: "I'm sorry I haven't been listening.  I've been too wrapped up in my own stuff."  This is code for: "I love you."

These dinners are our relationship insurance.  Since we don't go for things like prenuptual agreements (seriously... ), we've decided to make this relationship the best one we can.  It's a good reminder.  Sometimes, a healthy relationship doesn't feel like enough.  The truth is, though, like I said to my Dad when we were talking about some of my hopes for vocation/work and my fears they won't come through, "Dad, if all I get out of this life is Ben, I've got more than most people could ever dream of."  Sometimes, I forget that this is true.  Sometimes, I forget that loving and being loved is one of the sincerest forms of grace I have encountered.  Here's to it!

(This picture was 8 years ago.  Not much has changed.)

Stinky Pre-Race Runner Salad (if you don't say it in order, it's awkward)

I just made a pasta/bean dish that might be changing my world.  Maybe it will change yours too.  Sometimes the best kitchen things happen on accident (see: chocolate chip cookies).  Anyway, it makes up for the abject failure of a chocolate buttercream pie (dessert for tomorrow) that has now been laid to rest in our compost bin (we'll be buying extra butter and eggs this week, courtesy of yours truly).

Don't worry... someday Ben will contribute to the blog as well.  His posts will likely be far more succinct and with far fewer rabbitholes, distractions...

1c. garbanzo beans, soaked overnight and drained (or, if you're like me, you make things like this at the last minute.  In that case, pour boiling water over them, cover and let sit for 1 hour).  You could also use one 8oz can.
6 olives, preferrably a combination of black and green, the highest quality you can find, pitted and chopped roughly.
1/4 red onion, on the edge between diced and minced*
1 clove garlic, minced
2T apple cider vinegar
2T olive oil
Salt, to taste

Boil the garbanzos until tender.  I don't have a trick for knowing when this is - I usually end up eating a few that are pretty undercooked before they are done.  Allow to cool briefly.  Add the other ingredients and stir.

You could eat it plain or with crusty bread, but we're going to have it with pasta since we are running a 12k tomorrow morning.  You can use any kind of small pasta you like.  Orichette is nice with garbanzos, if you're looking for a recommendation.

Add pasta to garbanzos and toss.  Stir in some arugula if you like (we will!).

Slowing Down to Sleep

Today Ben biked into the wind for 9 miles to get to work (yes, he still had to work on his feet in the kitchen!).  I went to camp with a bunch of senior citizens from church and came home to meetings, tensions in the church that live only barely beneath the surface, and an academic paper that is screaming to be finished.  Some comfort food is in order.  That's why I'm making pesto grilled cheese for dinner tonight.  Some nights, slowing down so the voices in your head get bored and leave is worth a smaller amount of sleep.

4 slices of bread (make your own!  This recipe is easy and awesome: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/08/dining/081mrex.html)
4 slices provolone cheese
Argula pesto (mostly made of what we happened to have in the fridge; not really from a recipe)

The only recipe you'll really need is for the pesto:
1 clove garlic
2 big fistfuls of arugula (probably around 2 cups)
1 fistful of parsley (we use flat-leaf, probably around 1/2 cup if you're of the obsessive measuring persuasion)
Olive oil (probably around 1/4c.)
Salt to taste
Nuts if you have them (pine nuts or almonds work best; you can use stronger flavored nuts, but they can compete with the pepperiness of the arugula)
Parmesan if you want it (use if you are putting this on pasta instead of in grilled cheese!)

Preheat oven to 250.

Put garlic, arugula, and parsley in a food processer (a cuisinart is around $100; it's expensive, but we've had ours 5 years and it has paid for itself a bajillion times over).  After 20 seconds, drizzle olive oil into processor.  Add salt.  Taste it to see if you like it.  Add a little more salt if you don't.  Add nuts if you're rich or if you have them on hand (probably around 1/8c chopped).  I didn't have any and they're not in the grocery budget, so we left them out.  Add parmesan if you want it (probably around 1/4c.)  Process until uniformly mixed.

Melt butter (not margarine, not I can't believe it's not (you can tell the difference), and use more than you think you need - at least 1 tablespoon) in an oven-safe pan that can fit the grilled cheese.  Smear a generous amount of pesto on each slice of bread.  Put two pieces of cheese on each.  Cook grilled cheese on one side.  Flip when it is browned.  After you flip it, put it in the oven until the other side is browned (around 15 minutes).  This way, the cheese all gets melted and you don't have browned bread and non-melted cheese.



A few notes:
- When basil is in season, substitute it for arugula (arugula and basil are not in season at the same time unless you live in Berkeley; if you live in Berkeley, you probably already know what's in season).
- If you want to freeze the pesto, skip the nuts and the cheese.  Put the pesto in silicon ice cube trays.  When it is solid, turn it out into a freezer bag.
- This pesto is good on: grilled cheese, pasta, pizza, mixed with cream cheese and put on crackers, and is probably also good on chicken.  If you want to put it on beef or lamb, put 1/4c. back in the food processor with 1/4c. butter and make a compound butter.  Put the butter in plastic wrap in a cylinder shape and put in the freezer.  Grill your meat.  Slice the butter right out of the freezer and put it on top of your meat.  It will melt with the temperature of the meat and make it delicious.

Homemade Pizza

Friday nights are pizza nights at our house.  This is a tradition, as with most of Ben and my food traditions, that is borrowed from countless people.  Open a beer, make a martini if you dare (gin only, please), pop in a movie, and enjoy!

Regarding toppings:

If your pizza does not taste good enough with just sauce, cheese, and crust, adding a bunch of other stuff to it really isn't going to improve it much.  I would recommend making cheese pizzas until you get to one that makes you say, "Oh my God this is so good," and then start adding toppings.  Adding a bit of homemade sausage (with fennel and chilis, perhaps) to an already amazing pizza makes life worth living. 

Things you can do to explore making the perfect cheese pizza (don't do all of these at once, or you'll never isolate which part of the pizza "makes it" for you - do one at a time; it will make a better pizza and it will make you a better cook):

Mess with the flours in the dough, with how long you let it sit, with how thick you roll it, etc.  

Try brushing olive oil on the crust before you add the sauce.  

Make the sauce a few different ways from a few different recipes.  

Add a little parmesan or asiago or whatever sort of cheese you like.

Pizza Dough
Tomato Sauce
Mozzarella
Toppings

For the dough (borrowed, adapted, and changed weekly from Alice Water's recipe in The Art of Simple Food, which is one of my go-to cookbooks, if you'd like a cookbook suggestion):

Anywhere from 2-5 hours before you want to eat pizza, start this process:
Whisk Together:
1t. active dry yeast (we buy it in big bags and keep it in the freezer in a mason jar)
1/4c. wheat flour
1/4c. white flour (unbleached, please)
2/3c. warm water (it should feel like bathtub water)
- let sit for 30 minutes until bubbly.

Add:
1/2c. warm water
1/4c. olive oil (give or take)
1t. salt (when making bread or pizza dough, a rule of thumb I use is put in equal parts salt and yeast... somehow, the ratio usually works out)
2-3c. of unbleached flour, or enough to make a dough that cleans the bottom of the mixing bowl or, if you're tactile, that feels only slightly sticky to touch but doesn't leave any gunk on your hands when you touch it.

Put the dough in a bowl and cover it with a towel.  Let it rise for anywhere from 1-4 hours.  The longer it rises, the more flavor it will have (which is true of just about any bread).

This recipe makes about 2 medium-sized pizzas, but I usually cut it in half and make either breakfast foccacia or cinnamon rolls for the next morning with it since there are only two of us eating pizza.*

Tomato Sauce:
Preheat oven to 450.
When tomatoes are not in season, use 16oz canned tomatoes.
When tomatoes are in season, we use whatever tomato has a good texture (i.e. not mealy).  Four big heirloom tomatoes cut into 2" pieces should do the trick.
- place tomatoes in an oven-safe pan (we use glass - it's the easiest to clean).
- drizzle pan with olive oil (I've never measured it, but it's probably between 1/8 and 1/4c)
- sprinkle salt and pepper on top
- add a drizzle (probably 1t-1T depending on taste) of balsamic vinegar if you like a sweeter sauce
- you can add dried herbs if you like; I wouldn't add fresh - roasting them at this high of a temperature does not do them justice.  Dried are fine because they need the time, heat, and moisture to release their flavors.
Roast in the oven until the tomatoes start to blacken.  Don't burn the whole pan, just look for the tops starting to get dark.  Your pan will be covered with brownish splotches.  It will be okay.  Someone smart invented metal scrubbers for that.  Teflon and I are in a permanent fight.  Non-stick pans would be great if stuff didn't stick to them, inviting me to use whatever is necessary to clean them.  Also, you cannot properly whisk custard without a metal whisk.  Also, if I want to use a fork to stir my eggs, I am going to use a fork to stir my eggs.  We do not own non-stick pans.  It's cast-iron, enamel, and stainless steel for us!

Mozzarella:
Making your own is fun.  All you need is rennet (sold in most natural food stores) and a gallon of milk and some time to knead the curds into mozzarella balls.   You will develop Popeye-like forearms, but it's for a good cause.  I couldn't get mine to have a consistent texture, so I've decided to support people who can by buying their cheese.  Someday, I will talk about how much I love cheese.  And Wisconsin (sorry, Minnesota).


*Breakfast foccacia: super easy => flatten the dough into an oven-safe pan (we use a 9" round casserole, but you could use an 8x8 glass pan or anything that size), pour a bunch of olive oil (probably 1/4c. at least) and honey (2T-1/4c) on top.  I top ours with thyme, which has a really interesting flavor with the honey, and a little bit of salt.  If we have grapes, they're fabulous on top as well right along with everything else.  Bake right along with your pizza, though it might take a little longer; set a timer - I have burnt many a breakfast foccacia by not setting timers.

*Cinnamon rolls: again, super easy => roll out the dough so that it is 1/4" thick.  Soften 1/4c. (half of a stick) of butter.  Schmear the butter WITH YOUR HANDS all over the surface of the dough.  Mix 1/3c. brown sugar and 2t. cinnamon (all cinnamons are not created equal.  I recommend Penzey's Vietnamese cinnamon; it is seriously life-changing).  Sprinkle b.sugar and cinnamon over top.  Drizzle with honey or molasses, if you like.  Put nuts on if you like.  Put raisins on if you like.  Roll it up.  Cut the rolls into 2" thickness.  Put them in a greased oven-safe pan.  I put mine in the fridge and pull them out 1 hour before baking (about the same time I start preheating the oven).  For frosting, I mix equal parts butter and powdered sugar (you can use cream cheese in place of butter, if you like) and add a little almond or vanilla extract.

There you have it.  A super-long and complicated post on a super-simple and delicious meal.

People of the Feast - Why We Eat

My husband and my lives revolve around food.  Having both worked in more kitchens than the average person in their 3rd decade, having hosted and attended dinner parties we hoped would never end, having had the simple experience of opening a bottle of wine on a random night of the week and realized it bought us the time to talk to each other, to be with each other, and to learn how to fall in love again; food and drink is more than the nourishment of our bodies: it is the nourishment of our souls.

It's no wonder that the Eucharist is bread and wine... food and drink... but so often, we miss the wonder of this meal in our fast-food-eat-in-your-car world.  Scarfing down our nourishment as though an inconvienence, hoping nobody speaks to us so that we can move on to our next tasks, I think how we approach our meals is ultimately telling in how we live our lives and telling in how we live our lives of faith: hoping it doesn't slow us down long enough to inconvenience us, long enough to change us, long enough to make us think, "How did we ever come to be so blessed?"  So we go to our faith communities, hoping to scarf down enough to remind our bellies that they are empty, rather than to remind our bellies that our meager meal is the Great Feast, which fills to overflowing.  How we eat is how we live.

Now, don't get me wrong: you don't need to be a chef or even love food to approach a meal as something more than an inconvenience (I must confess, it helps).  Even a simple meal of a box of pasta, a bit of butter, and some parmesan cheese can have as much joy as a rack of lamb (or steak, if you're of a more Midwestern persuasion).  A simple meal can be rendered a feast in its approach.  Boil the pasta, saute some garlic in more butter than what you're comfortable with, and (for the love, buy real parmesan cheese - it's not that expensive!) a grate of parmesan cheese.  Put a tablecloth on the table (or a bedsheet if you lack a table cloth), light a couple of candles, and voila!  Feast.

Much of our food philosophy has been borrowed from varied sources: from friends who are chefs, from books we have read, from people who find themselves nourished by good food, good drink, and good company, and from our own experiences of discovering the propensity for food to mitigate continually falling in love: with each other, with the world, and with the Creator who, for whatever reason, gave us empty bellies and hungry hearts.

If you have not read The Supper of the Lamb by Robert Farrar Capon, buy a copy now.

He says: "To a radically, perpetually unnecessary world; to the restoration of astonishment to the heart and mystery to the mind; to wine, because it is a gift we never expected; to mushroom and artichoke, for they are incredible legacies; to improbable acids and high alcohols, since we would hardly have thought of them ourselves; and to all being, becuase it is superfluous; to the hairs on Harry's ear, and ot the seven hundred and sixty-eighth cell from the upper attachment of the right gluteus maximus in the last girl on the chorus line.  We are free: Prosit, Dear Hearts.  Cheers, Men and Bretheren.  We are free: nothing is needful, everything is for joy," (Capon, 86).

If everything is for joy, then each meal is a feast.  Whether it's the poker chip communion wafer and shot glass of wine body and blood of Christ, or whether it's a rack of lamb lovingly prepared for friends or family, it's a feast.  It reminds us that our lives are unnecessary gifts; we take delight in these gifts because God delights in them, and indeed, in us, as indicated in Psalm 18:19.  Here's to the feast! 

4.22.2012

Carne Asada (kind of... we don't really use recipes that often)
Guacamole (yeah, yeah... avacados are not local, but they are delicious, and sometimes delicious wins over local/organic/etc)
Escabeche (or, my term of endearment for it: ishy-bishy)
Homemade Tortillas

Rhubarb Fool (our rhubarb has just gotten big enough to use - and fool is the easiest and most impressive way to eat it)

We don't really use recipes, but if I had to guess, here's my best shot:

Carne Asada:
Meat (choose your mid-range desired form of steak... I think we used flank steak)
Marinade (again, I am guessing on the quantities):
  Traditional: 1/4c. tequilla, 2T lime juice, 2 cloves garlic, onions, chipotle peppers (or a more spicy pepper, if you prefer)
  What we did: 1/4c. red wine vinegar, 2T lime juice, 2 cloves garlic, 1 red chili pepper, mustard (Ben puts mustard in just about every marinade we make).
  Marinade 4 hours; overnight is better.
  Grill until medium-rare.  (Touch test: When you touch it with your finger, it should resist, but return to its original shape.)

Guacamole (best made in a mortar and pestle; it won't turn brown nearly as fast, if at all!):
  1 avocado
  1 clove garlic (optional, but I love garlic)
  Cilantro and Salt, to taste.
  Pound the avocado and ingredients in a mortar and pestle.

Escabeche
  1 carrot, sliced into 1/2 inch chunks
  1 celery stalk, sliced into 1/2 inch chunks
  3 cloves garlic (garlic is seriously our health insurance plan - it's better than most of the plans out there!)
  1/2 medium onion, sliced thinly
  1 jalepeno, quartered
  1/2c. vinegar
  1/2c. water
  1t sugar
  1t salt
  1 bay leaf
  - Put the carrot, celery, garlic, onion, and jalepeno into a mason jar.
  - Place the vinegar, water, sugar, salt, and bay leaf into a saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a boil.  Pour over vegetables.  Wait 60 minutes or until cool; the more time you give the veggies, the more pickly they get.

Homemade Tortillas:
  2c. all purpose flour
  2T butter or lard
  1t. baking powder
  1/4t. salt
  - mix the flour, salt, and baking powder with the lard with your fingers until the mixture is uniform.  Add water (around 3/4c) to make a dough that feels a little like playdoh (this is the texture you want pie crust to have as well).  Divide into 12 dough balls.  Roll on a floured surface.  Place on a heated cast-iron, enamel, or stainless steel pan over medium heat.  Flip when it has brown freckles.  Burn a few.  It builds character.

Rhubarb Fool (is foolishly easy to make and wickedly delicious)
  Rhubarb part:
  8 stalks rhubarb (as fresh as you can find - this dessert is meant for April/May!), cut in 1/2 inch chunks
  1/2-3/4c. sugar, depending on how tart the rhubarb is
  1T lemon juice
  - Put rhubarb, sugar, and lemon juice in a saucepan over medium heat.  Reduce until the rhubarb has disintegrated into a sauce (about 10 minutes, but just watch for it to look like pie filling; don't burn it because you're too busy following directions!).
  1c heavy whipping cream
  1/4c. sugar
  1t. vanilla
  1 cardamom pod's worth of seeds, crushed.
  - whip cream and cardamom, adding sugar gradually, followed by vanilla.  Whip until it forms soft peaks (pull out the whisk, and it should look like a wave starting to crash).
 
We tend to drink whatever wine (regardless of color or type) we are in the mood for.  If Ben were inclined toward margaritas, I would have lobbied for them, but it is a losing battle.  We drank a new-to-us Malbec that didn't really work that well with the meal.  We ended up pouring half of the bottle into our red wine vinegar starter.  Oh well.

In other news, today I made the first fresh flower cuttings for our Sunday bouquet.  We ate outside by candlelight with a beautiful mix of spring flowers.  A life in which there is good food, candles, and spring flowers can't be that bad.  Fortunately, the IRS doesn't tax happiness, because I am oh so rich.

Eating our Way into a Healthy Marriage

Despite the fact I busted our camera while we were traveling in Kenya (which will preclude pictures of our adventures on this blog for now), I have been thinking a lot lately about writing about food.  Though I write a daily blog regarding the RCL texts appointed for each day, it still doesn't get at all the components of my life that feed my faith, my body, and my soul.  So, I have decided to join the millions already writing about food not because I necessarily want my voice to be heard, but because I want to teach myself to listen to the hunger within.  It is a way of remembering forward and back how Ben and I have eaten our way into a healthy marriage.  It all happens around the dinner table. At  least, that's what we're banking on.